Please excuse the lack of background, this is me in my most naked thoughts, and I don’t know what to make of them, but I know they are true, but I don’t know what truth is…. Let my mind be a playground instead of a wasteful desert that everyone is afraid of. This is as far as I got in my diary.
In 3 Months of Chaos
Learn to cry, it makes you brave, learn to forgive, it makes you blissful, learn to be ugly, it makes you beautiful. Learn loneliness, it makes you secure, learn to grieve, it makes you strong, learn to say I’m sorry, it gives you pride, learn to say please, it gives you courage, learn to say thank you, it makes you selfless, learn to believe, it gives you freedom, learn to live, through the good and the bad, and that makes you unbreakable. And then tomorrow will be ok...
2 Months
Still struggling with the concept of stability you guys made everything seem ok. You guys taught me goodness. I truly love you guys. When we were all together I felt grounded, I felt home. Sometimes I cry because I miss you two so much, and then I’ll talk to you online and I know your still there. Then I feel better, you guys always make my life feel better. You both were there for me through everything, and when I came back from all the chaos, you guys were right there. I can’t describe the appreciation I have for that. In those two months I took settling back here you guys have earned my unshakeable love and loyalty, I will always be here for you two, till the day I die. It is one of my most solid promises.
Over 8 Months…
Hey Babe,
I never got to tell you that the song I sent you wasn’t a song that I felt suited my perception of all of this; but yours. I think you’ll always be able to change my mind, I hope someday you do. I don’t think this situation made me realize how much I love you so much as it gave me the wisdom to put it into words. I’ve been through a lot of turmoil for the past couple of years. You know all about it. I’ve grown a lot, I’ve learned a lot, but I learned the most in the eight months I spent with you.
I don’t think anyone could possibly present a lexical definition of love but I’ll give it a shot. It’ll be a long one. Love is an illogical unique emotion, which is infinite and unconditional. A sole member of its class, love is absolute and perfect. Some might argue love can lead to a negative, destructive path. My rebuttal is that other strong emotions which are logical and imperfect (such as anger or fear) lead to destruction. When these two classes of emotion combined can make for a difficult life, but not necessarily a terrible one. Because love is absolute and perfect, it will always be a positive asset to any sort of being and will ultimately survive despite anything that is imperfect.
I remember when I could sing, and I can’t anymore, I choke on my tears. I remember when drawing gave me an escape from the troubles of this world, now it is the only true highlight that recognizes it…. I it, I don’t know what IT is, but I am sure that IT is bigger than me…
A few Weeks Later
Sorrow…
Creates a balance for the cruelty that humanity possesses. It evolves into empathy and compassion, concepts which are essential for meaningful human life.
Hope….
Has many outcomes. It can make you brave, with the risk of being foolish.
this is the letter I owe to all humanity thus far, because of course my love taught me the meaning of humanity, and so I owe it to you all to try and teach and learn what I have thus far, and learn even more… none of the people I wrote to here are here anymore in my life, i am in such desperation, but I still think I’m on the right path, i think i know what really matters, even if these guys don't.
