These days I think I've forgotten how to make small talk. Or perhaps I never really knew; there was always too much else that was urgent. But I did at one point have the ability (i.e. the energy) to talk to almost anyone at great length -- long discussions with airplane seatmates (though not always fun), people at the supermarket or at the DMV, et cetera. I think what made it work then was almost immediately asking the other person questions about themselves, usually about their work, and being genuinely interested in the response. For instance I remember once sitting next to a pilot on a plane and asking him about the major innovations in airplane design of the last 50 years, and what airplanes might look like in the future.

A talent, which is also a weakness, of mine is a certain love of information.  I would find it fascinating to talk to, let's say, someone in textile design from Milan for a couple of hours on a train.  And really, anyone who has lived attentively has probably amassed a lot of interesting information. Thus the other person can speak freely about themselves in a kind of safe or distant way by framing for you certain experiences, certain a priori external details which really give you a picture of a world (interior and exterior) you wouldn't otherwise see.

I know other people whose M.O. when they feel like talking to relative strangers is to ask personal questions, rather than informational ones. This strategy either works extremely well -- you touch the other person deeply and make a friend for life -- or backfires. Perhaps others will have comments along those lines. Here one should really learn from the experts.

I second almost everything Mia wrote. As far as I see it love for information is important– it is not mandatory if you are a good actor but it sure makes life easier. I on my part am genuinely interested in people. To me everybody is worth becoming acquainted with. What is more I also love information. Talking to people and listening to their stories actually gives us the opportunity to learn more about the world.  When I am talking to somebody I am thus always genuinely interested –people can feel it. Especially today – when despite face book and co we are more alone than ever we yearn to be cared about and listened to.  

I really like Mia’s story about her conversation with the pilot for it reveals perhaps another ingredient (for what is small talk but a social dish we serve each other ;)  )  –  creativity. Less creative individuals might have just asked a question the poor pilot had to answer hundreds of times. I remember talking to an archeologist once and asking whether she was not afraid of doing excavations in countries like Iran or Iraq. Fortunately she was a very frank person and told me that she has already been  confronted with almost the same question three times during the evening. So I proceeded to ask her whether she liked reading novels about treasure as child and from there the conversation really rolled.

Aside from interest and creativity I would also say that being well informed and up to date is really helpful. Newspapers are great at providing topics for conversation albeit mostly superficial ones.

Nowadays when I find myself in the position where I have to “practice small talk” I always endeavor to develop conversations which are not directed at the person’s profession or his/her studies. In my opinion there is already enough of that going on in their everyday lives.

Juri

Hi Qian Lin,
I think I'm quite an expert at small talk so here is my advice:
Small talk to me is divided into a few registers and one should master them all and shift in between in order to create a successful small talk evening.
1. First register is the ability to be in the background, smile and look cute, so that most of the work goes to the other party.
2. Second one is more work. When the other party looks tired and the silence danger is looming, it's your turn to go into action. Choose obvious harmless subjects, try to get the most of them and then shift, shift, shift. You can make a head list of those subjects.
Mine are : the weather, what I cooked last night, a good restaurant/bar, last movie seen, the last political scandal and so on and so on. The subjects are really endless, the secret is to be able to let go and pass to the next.
3. Always listen to the other party. One of those subject may interest the second party, so be aware of it and don't shift subject on that moment. It may be time to pass the ball and go back to (1), listen and look cute.
4. From my experience, you can go on for several hours with the above-mentioned points 1-3, but should you be at a loss for subjects and your partner showing signs of fatigue as well, there is always the last and efficient resource of gossip. Anything works, stories on your work-colleagues, your childhood friends whom you rarely see but have some news, and friends of friends if you don't want to get into too close-relation stuff.
It's really quite easy though I must say, it is very repetitive and is devoid of any interest. But that was the subject you asked about...