As no one has seen fit to shut down this nonsensical thread I'm here again to throw my voice to the wind, though this wind is mostly comprised of 0s and 1s maybe someone is playing with the vocalization tool some computers have and hearing my absurdities outloud. I'm sorry for that person. For if there was ever anything that shouldn't have to be listened to it is this. In fact it really shouldn't have to be read either so feel free to stop even before this upcoming period. That one. I had listerine this morning, it didn't burn quite so bad, that was a let down. If listerine doesn't burn it's not doing it's proper job. I want my eyes to tear so I can know my teeth are crying.

That's enough about hygeine, and enough for that paragraph. Who knows where this one will end up. Potentially you could know if you skip ahead as by the time you're reading I will have finished. In any event I need a new pair of shoes. A good set of sneakers. I would like puma. I have a pair of nikes right now that are barely wearable. I hate nike as a company but I must concede that they do make a fine shoe. I wonder if I can pull off Velcro shoes or do they only work for that under 7 and over 77 demographic. I won't risk it, I value my reputation too much. What was that movie where some guy invented noiseless velcro? Garden state.  It was an alright movie. It came out when I was in high school and I had some friends who highly regarded it as monumentally inspirational. All I could think about while I was watching it was how pretty Natalie Portman was outside the icy grip of George Lucas. God I hate star wars. Such blasphemy!

Lord of the Rings is easily the better. I don't know who can argue in favor of the Star Wars. The dialogue was vomitrocious. It was so bad I had to invent a word to describe it. I lost my train of thought, I had to argue with someone I don't like just so I could beat him even though I did not care at all about what was coming out of my mouth. Unfortunately I lost as I was wrong. I should have put more effort into it. I like the term train of thought. I imagine a long old style train with each car themed for a different philosopher. Plato's car is empty with white walls. Damn, it turns out a lot of them have empty cars. Nietzche's is filled with people. Hah, I'm just kidding. He was a loner. I wonder who has the caboose. Probably Freud. I always heard he was an assman.

Anyways I just filled three paragraphs with enough nonsense to fuel an absurdest airplane on it's flight to the molecular level of a transvestite moose's mustache comb, so I think I can sign off for the day.

/off

I'm back. I'm sorry readers. But more than likely no one is reading this so I shouldn't be too apologetic. And anyways that wasn't a sincere "I'm sorry" as you are only bringing it upon yourself by following me on this journey to the "post" button. Halloween is approaching. Well, not really, but it's closer than it was yesterday which means I have one less day to figure out what I'll be. I wonder what age I should stop dressing up. I'll worry about that when girls no longer find my costumes cute. Partnering up on Halloween is always fun. Last year I was team purple parrot with a friend (from Legend of the hidden temple ). This year I kind of want to really employ my orange hair, sounds like a tiger to me. Oh Oh OH! Maybe I'll be Hobbes to someone's Calvin. Hmm, I'm not quite tall enough to tower above any of my blond headed friends. I might have to kidnap a youngster for the duration of Halloween which is really a week long fest. Well, I'm glad that idea is done, I always hate thinking of an idea the night of Halloween, those costumes are never as good.

This is a transitional sentence. I wrote the previous line before I knew where it would transition to. In fact I still don't know. Maybe it will go to paper mache or how about cliches? I'm that guy you know who can never get a saying right. I always confuddle them. "What goes around rarely stops" or "treat others like you'd treat a sore wound." "If you can dream it you can also make me a sandwich." Speaking of sandwiches I'm rather hungry. I find that if I wait as long as I can before eating I enjoy the food more and eat less, it's a win and another win. Don't worry I'm not anorexic. Though that is a fun word. Have you ever noticed that it is impossible to mumble the word enunciate. It's constructed so smartly that you have to give strong attention to each syllable. Try not enunciating the word articulate. It's impossible.

Talking about impossible, I'm pretty sure this thread is impossible to respond to. How can you cut in to the nonsense I'm spitting? I once knew a kid that salivated too quickly, he was always spitting, I'm only spitting in the way a rapper might spit, with words. I spit fire like a dragon who salivates too quickly. I like that one, maybe I'll ghostwrite for some rapper. I'm not marketable enough to make it out there on my own. But hey, "if you can dream it" right? I had a dream last night I met the pope. I called him a Nazi sympathizer but it turned out the glass on his pope mobile is sound proof and he didn't hear me. I'm glad because I understood that he was forced to be in the Hitler Youth. I saw the pope once. There was a long parade of cars up by central park and his was a normal looking Limo and really I only saw his tinted silhouette, but that was all I needed to know I'd been converted. Now I'm a Think Coffee man, screw you starbucks. Coincidentally on the day I saw the pope I also saw Elliot Spitzer, the former Governor of New York who was ousted for wanting a little call girl action. I wonder if that will keep him from meeting the pope, they certainly won't meet in heaven.

Final thought: I wonder if the 72 virgins that some terrorists are promised for becoming "martyrs" are constantly refreshed or if they remain deflowered? If that were the case and they remained deflowered, I wonder if the deceased would ration his virgins?

I imagine you thought you were done with me. "You" of course, I mean in the most theoretical sense. I have no evidence "you" exist I just hope you do, kind of like String Theory I guess. My dream job is theoretical physicist. Even my dreams are nerdy. I wish I could lucid dream on command, I've done it a few times but it never lasts, I usually wake up. Have "you" ever had the falling dream where you wake up right before the ground? It's my theory that you always wake up because the human brain can't contemplate death. The brain knows that it should be dead upon hitting the ground but it has no way of transferring that sensation to the dream which is why you wake up. This is also a theory. I can't prove it. How much water should I drink in a day? A lot I imagine. I should really get into drinking a lot of water. It can only be good for me. I don't get the whole bottled water craze. Well, in America at least. I mean what the hell? Tap tastes perfectly fine to me. I have a friend that can distinguish the difference in tastes between bottled waters. That's absurd!

I used the word absurd to end that paragraph mockingly. "You" probably didn't pick up on it because it's particularly hard to establish a sarcastic tone with just two words. But really, people overuse the word absurd. It's not at all absurd that it's possible to distinguish water tastes. I'm sure it doesn't even qualify as uncommon. What would be absurd is if when my friend drank a glass of water and he got to the bottom he realized he'd become a glass of water. Or maybe that would qualify as surreal? In either case all this talk about water has gotten me to need to make a trip to the toilet. That last sentence was not altogether put together well. Neither was that one. But as I highly doubt this pandamasterpiece will be my Pulitzer prize winning magnum opus, I'll leave them be.

I am now transitioning into something new. Like a butterfly or a Beatles album. I like musicians that constantly change. Who is like that today? Radiohead. Bob Dylan is still constantly reinventing himself. Robert Plant did that amazing album with Allison Krauss. Eminem completely changed his flow on his new album. For some reason I have that song Smelly Cat from friends stuck in my head. Smelly Cat Smelly Cat What are they feeding you? Smelly Cat Smelly cat, It's not your fault. Lisa Kudrow was easily the best on Friends which was altogether a terrible show. She had the most talent the best character and the most capability for a critically acclaimed career.

Anyway, I'll give "your" eyes and "your" brain a rest and shut off for the day.