I don't know which movie it was from that one of the characters said, " I think we have two lives. The one we learn with, and the one we live with after that." And that just means that you should live without regret, as if you have two lives. This is a psychological trick that requires you to separate your regretful thinking from your regular thinking. It's sort of an easy Scientology like approach. Or you can look at it philosophically: all values are inherently illusory. This is because it is impossible to entirely know your own mind or your will. Free will can be considered an illusion of the mind. (This is a neuroscience approach.) But more importantly, the fundamental values of life may come down to no more than living in symbiosis with the earth. If that's the case, nearly all of modern life is a web of false values. All we may really get is the chance to see the sunrise, walk on the earth, eat its plants, reproduce and live tribally. Beyond that its all extra. So your world view can really save you. 

Then there's religion. Essentially you can replace all your regretful thoughts with prayer. It works for a lot of people. Buddhists basically reject all desire, and therefore most regrets. That's a tough way to go. 


Some say that once you have glimpsed the infinite in yourself, that this life then looks relatively insignificant. So you can rejoice in that. 

Hi Catherine,
I think that you should be very pleased with yourself that you've woken up to the fact that there's more to life than what other people expect.
Lots and Lots of people never do that at all.  They do all their living in the light of other people's expectations.  Sad souls.

Regret comes with living but don't regret the wrong things.  Don't regret 25 years of your life--you learned some things during those years and you developed some muscle.  You learned perhaps that you don't like foolishness or manipulation.  Or love that only calls itself that.
Or maybe you learned that when something is not right you have to leave it behind and move on by yourself. 
I don't know what your lessons have been but you can be sure that you learned them.

Now you have the opportunity to find yourself and you can do it as an adult.  Think about the things you love--books, movies, occasions--and think about why you love them.  What do they bring you?
Think about the people you respect, even if they're characters in books.  What is it you respect in them?  You surely have that thing in you.  You just have to uncover it and exercise it.

There are worlds in you.
There are worlds in everyone.  But you, who have unblinded yourself, are fortunate enough to be able to go after them now.

Best of luck in your search.  It will be difficult sometimes.
The key for those of us who have done idiot things and made idiot choices is not to regret...very much.
Here's a micro-story:
When my mother died I had to decide what about our relationship to regret because certainly, it was a sorrowful relationship.  I'm sorry that we were never able to be friends and that we never were able to have a good laugh together.  But that's all.  We were two entirely different people and neither one of us could help it. 
I can't make myself what I want to be if I wallow in why or if only.

Neither can you.