Occupy the Internet
Bedroom General Can relationships remain physically satisfying over the long term?
THINQon is a platform for a more intelligent web. It aims to replace the ruling paradigm of the web – that of sharing and gathering information – with a sharing and achieving of understanding. Instead of the Q&A model it offers an experience. A platform for discovery of ideas, people, and yourself.     Continue >
Can relationships remain physically satisfying over the long term?
Had an interesting discussion with a friend about Esther Perel's book Mating in Captivity, which addresses the question of whether it is possible for couples who stay together 20, 30, 40, 50+ years to have relationships which remain both emotionally and physically intimate. The author is a Manhattan psychotherapist. Some of the cases she deals with stem from clear external hurdles, like having small children around. But from what people have to say elsewhere on the site, e.g.:
** Should I stay or should I go?,
** Divorce or Forgiveness?
** Monogamy
** True love at midlife
** Aging
** Is it her, me or part of all relationships?
it seems this is a major question for many or even most couples over the long term.

So, is it possible?
Books Discussed
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
by Esther Perel

Yes, I think it is possible, Mia. But only if the people are not forced into the relationship and if they are satisfied with themselves inwardly. People can seem content with themselves yet always yearn for external stimuli(multiple partners) to fill the gaps within. I think it is most important to have a relationship with yourself and, if you believe in this sort of thing, a relationship with spirituality. I don't mean religion, though. Just having a connection with the divine consciousness, which I personally believe exists. I think relationships are just mirrors of yourself. We seek and attract those that will complete that part of us that needs attention. I think romantic relationships are beautiful and special, but really, they are just reflections of ourselves, what we would like to see in ourselves. So of course when we feel lonely we will seek a relationship, even if it is outside of our own. Of course, if we see beauty, we may instinctively want to merge with that beauty not only for biological reasons but because we want that beauty in ourselves. Of course we will want to run along side someone that makes us feel free because we value freedom. But if we realize that we all are a part of god source and that we are already complete as we are, then we will be able to attract one who feels complete also, and with whom we feel satisfied to stay with exclusively, without feeling any pressure. So yes, I think what you have proposed is possible if their is a greater understanding of all things.

In response to majicou majicou
I think it is extremely rare for 2 people to be physically, and mentally intimate for 40+-50+ years and still retain their sense of "self".
Join the Community
Full Name:
Your Email:
New Password:
I Am:
By registering at THINQon.com, you agree to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.
Discussion info
Latest Post: January 28, 2012 at 11:55 AM
Number of posts: 7
Spans 69 days

  
Searching
No results found.