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Chronic Illness
Anyone else relate to this story: ?????? 

1. When I was born, I was diagnosed with Cystic Fibrosis via sweat test.  I was then shuttled off to the Mayo Clinic where they ran another battery of tests on me, and proved through 2 other "weak positive" and 2 other "negative" sweat tests that I probably did not have Typical CF.  This was back in 1987-88.   They fed me antibiotics and steroids for the first two years of my life, mom was surprised i lived.

2. I go til the age of 17 with asthma -- but other than that, a pretty healthy normal guy. 

3. I feel pretty darn good at 18, I graduate 10th in my class and its time for college. 

4. I go to college and drop nearly 20,000 on my first year alone (housing food) -- I do really well, make dean's list.  Get transfered to honor's political science program (i wanted to be a laywer -- still do). 

5. I go thru the next two years of college with ease and enjoy every minute of it, I do really well... maintain a 3.7 GPA. 

6.  Senior year... I get a lung infection and doctor Rx some amoxycilin--that doesn't do the trick, Rx some doxycycline (for a month +) I battle this lung infection.  I get the flu around the 3rd week of my senior semester -- swine flu, hallucinate, get dominated. 

7.  From that moment until now (about 2.5 years), my digestive system does not work.  I have chronic gastritis, I have chronic esophagitis, I am now lactose intolerant, glucose/sucrose intolerate, gluten intolerant, and when its realy bad... i am protein intolerant pretty much.  Every single day from that moment--no exaggeration-- (October, 2009 until now) I have dealt with the worst digestive issues that I would not wish on my worst enemy.  Let me also add this:  My grandfather (moms side) died of esophageal cancer at 59, his brother, dies of stomach cancer at 54, my aunt (moms side) diagnosed Celiac thru biopsy at mayo clinic, other aunt diagnosed crohns disease, uncle has barrett's esophagus (his father was the one who died at 59 from esophageal cancer..... hmm...).  On top of that, I have multiple hereditary osteochondromas (look it up). 

8.  So... I am now 24 years old, stuggled to graduate and finish my final year of school -- I was literally a walking mess... brain fog, joint pain, headaches, naseau, constant digestive issues and simply.... malaise!  I was a now, chronically ill human being.  I am still to this day.... I have days where I feel somewhat normal, but literally.... every single day consists of digestive pain from my esophagus to my colon.  I am seeing a gastro doctor on 10/28/2011.  You may ask... what took you 2 years to see a doctor?

9.  I got dropped off my parent's insurance the moment I put the last period on my final exam.  On your own, boy.  So... I graduated from college, got a job painting houses in order to generate some good cash, and I did... then i began looking for work.

10.  Found my job here.... legal assistant.  Put on a strong face, my stomch hurts really bad when im stressed out, and got hired.   It took another 6months of probationary period at my job in order to get insurance. 

11. Got insurance thru my job.... so when you say, Mr. Gerson, just find another job!!!! you are failing to see the dilemma of which I am talking about.  THis country does not allow its chronically ill the right to not work.  For 21 years of my life, I didn't even think of the chronically ill... once I became one of them, I cannot relate to healthy humans.... its just hard for you to understand--again... perception.  

So my job is a vital necessity because it provides health insurance and a way to pay my loans.  It certainly is not my vocation... you are correct.  But when your job becomes a necessity in order to find ways to cure a health ailment, and to pay of student loans... it become more than just a job.. .it becomes a burden you must hold onto at all costs.  And that can be stressful. 

Now... and i get how this may sound. "Stop complaining you woosie!"

For the first 3 years of college, I was fine.  Then I got some sort of virus / bacteria that has set me off.  Along with the over RX of antibiotics which, especially in those who are suseptible (remember, i was on antibiotics and steriods for 2 years of my initial life.... my body is not configured with normal gut flora... coupled with my genetic pre-dispositions, of which i really didn't understand... I was healthy at that time!) can exasserbate one's digestive sensitivities.   Once I went thru that episode, the best way I can describe my current state of health is unbalanced, unnatural, painful, ineffective, and terrorizing.

Anyone else ???? 
Lots of people, Tom.
Lost in the cracks of health care. Purposefully manufactured cracks--I'll never be able to be more articulate about it than that, an old girl's blood pressure must be considered.
Sick, tired, overworked, too worn down and too poor to get a lobby together.
The pharm companies have stopped making a lot of the relatively inexpensive drugs because they're not profitable.

Crazy.
I just actually read what I posted..... the last 3 or 4 paragraphs should not have been included... I lazily copy and pasted that from another post pertaining to another circumstance, but I wanted to start a discussion on this topic.  So... if you are reading this, please disregard my tangent toward the end of the first passage.

All I am saying is that I currently am dealing with some really tough digestive issues that are DAILY.   And that is really starting to take a toll on my spirit and just overall humanity.   I am seeing a doctor on Friday, so maybe i'll be able to re-post about what was found out.  

But jeeze... its just really tough not being able to eat really anything at all.  When I eat meats i feel like im digesting rocks, i get constipated for days on end, I get drunkeness feeling after eating, gastritis... its crazy for sure.  And it is 100% digestive.   I don't have any back-problems, I don't have any arthritis pain or other acute pains.... but literally... i cannot eat anything aside from what I cook at home.   If someone else prepares it, my body will reject it.

Its just been a really though 2 years of my life, and Im struggling to find answers.  Imagine waking up EVERYDAY for 2 years with gnawing stomach pain and esophageal pain... it is just bizar. 

I guess im just venting to strangers, but maybe some other people have similar experiences.   I certainly don't mind communicating with those who understand what its like to deal with "managable" chronic illness.

Amour
Tom.Please take the following very lightly. I would truly hearten you if I could.

A decade or so ago  there was an article in the New Yorker by a gal who wanted to do a piece on job change. Through somebody that knew somebody that knew somebody she came up with a rocket scientist from JPL that had taken a job on Wall St. doing the math for hedge fund formulas. He was really sick of what he doing at the time of her interview with him.The old story; he was doing it for the money. Not so very much later she got a post card from him from Gainesville Fla. He had quit the street and gone to learn to be a circus clown.

What do you get when you have five hundred lawyers a t the bottom of the ocean?  - A good start.  Seriously, why do you want to be a lawyer? I personally do not know a single lawyer that I hope to spend time with. Not that many shouldn't be doing time. 

Your situation sounds like the proverbial treadmill.  What to do?  Cheat. Laugh it off and learn to love your job. Yes, this takes some magical thinking but people do it all the time. 

Or maybe return your education for a refund. You won't get a refund but argument for why you should would certainly resonate with a lot of student loan holders. It could be hilarious and educational to those of us not familiar with the racket. Check out 'The Great Hargesa Goat Bubble." Wonderful. A dozen angles for a good story occur to me. Pretty sure you could get more help than you could use. 

Or, What would would happen if you blew off your student loans? Debtors prison? A credit rating worse than Greece's? The creditors might pay you to not push that suggestion. Would you get fired. Would unemployment give you time to figure out how to get Medicaid? You are certainly not alone in the disappointment of your expectations

Anyway, the treadmill that you are on is not just external circumstances, some of it is in your mind, perhaps the most painful aspects. Some wag, maybe Shakespeare, said something on the order of,  "Nothing is so good or bad, but thinking makes it so."  It is clear to me that I am my own worst enemy.
I keep it that way because there is such a long line.

Show up for open mike, Make music.

Cheeers
 
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Latest Post: November 1, 2011 at 7:33 AM
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