Dear CNN, I hate you.
You used to be good. You used to be news and analysis I could count on. Now you are as sensationalist as your brothers at Fox News. Your programs are incendiary and are hardly even masked as objective. You overly use the remarks "breaking news" and you discredit journalism. I'm fairly certain you spend more time ogling over your own super delux situation screens than you do finding and analyzing the news. You play the game for money and don't have any journalistic integrity. Anderson Cooper, shouldn't you still be in New Orleans? I thought you weren't leaving until everything was in tiptop shape. Wolf Blitzer, would you have a job without that huge screen behind you? Larry King... what is it you do exactly?
CNN your coverage is lackadaisical. Even you know your stories are hardly newsworthy. Right now on your homepage, the 4 latest stories are all about Michael Jackson. Headline:
Dermatologist doesn't think he's Jackson Kids' dad. What does that mean CNN? I read the article. I still don't know what it's about!
The next headline:
In Hunting for celebrity graves, Michael Jackson's may be difficult. Is that a joke? Do you find gravehunters constitute a large demographic block of your readership? What are you doing Cnn!?
Old Lady Finds Fawn, Beats it with a shovel When has something like that ever qualified as newsworthy? They wouldn't even read that in Deliverance country! A refreshed CNN page lands me this whopping headline:
In life of mysteries, Jackson's changed color baffled public Seriously, who is writing this stuff? Is there one guy somewhere in your building just trucking away at every imaginable variation of the same Michael Jackson stories? I should place a bet about how much of your coverage today is spent on Michael Jackson. 40% range seems reasonable.
WE'RE DRAWING TROOPS OUT OF IRAQ, oh, but wait a second, there's a hospital in Kansas City that is twittering updates about a child's surgery, isn't that amazing. Oh and what's that?
Do men really want to get married? You know I've never really thought about, but maybe we don't... Oh and yes! I would love to learn how to identify undercover cop cars. I often find it a problem when I'd rather be doing something illegal but stay on the good side of the law in case someone is watching.
Dear CNN, you suck. Stop masking yourselves as news and start airing advertisements that you'll buy your viewers' gold for the best prices around.
Love
Clark