Animals of Valley View Farms:
                    Plaintiff
            Against

Old MacDonald:
                    Defendant

To the above named defendant:

    It has been brought to the attention of those here at the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU) that employees of your establishment are routinely subjected to oratory degradation and defamation. The modes of intolerance that you employ at Valley View Farms have reached such levels that the names of your farm animals have become synonymous with common insults in the public sector.

    The list of grievances stretches back at least a century and permeates among all animals kingdoms that your farm represents. You are being held fully liable for the death of Linda the Cow, who, after suffering from Bulimia nervosa for five years, tipped herself over last week ending what should have been a very happy and pastoral life. How could anyone find a date, let alone love, when constantly associated with Roseanne?
    
    The levels of depression instilled in your employees will require years of bi-weekly therapy sessions which you are expected to pay in full. The pain you have caused is epitomized by the story of Sheila the sheep. Sheila, a born leader, tried for years to move up the corporate ladder with her genuine tenacity and hard work ethic. However, due to the spread of your falsifications, Sheila was coined a follower, and as such, unhireable. Her days are now spent idly grazing, a shell of her former self.
    
    Other liabilities include your entire chicken coop, which, at one point, boasted a 95% capture rate of all foxes. And now, due to low morale, that same coop loses a chicken every four minutes to an ever-growing fox population. Also, Bruno the Bull, who, being expelled from all public restrooms, ruptured his colon after holding it in for so long. He is faced with thousands of dollars in hospital charges that his measly wages can't afford. Everybody poops Mr. MacDonald. Everybody poops. Why is his any different?
    
    The fact of the matter is Sir, this is the twenty first century and everyone is entitled to fair and equal treatment. While your farm practices may have been considered the 'norm' when, if ever, you were young, now they are admonishable and you are responsible for the lives ruined. Your court date is scheduled for two months from this date.
                                    Until then,
                                    
       
                                    A.C.L.U