** all emboldened bumper stickers and custom tags are in fact real

Patriotism abound! Your love for this country is measured in how many square inches of your car's windows are covered in red white and blue! Yellow Ribbons also! (Hold off on those pink ones though, this country isn't so removed from the Cold War and homophobic tendencies that we are quite ready yet to deem you loyal Americans)

Is there any other country in the world with so many bumper stickers? If our patriotism really is measured by the adhesives on our cars we would practically generate Brave New World levels of loyalty. According to some Bumper Stickers we're already at fascist levels.  Obamahood, spreadin' the wealth 

Americans are their cars and their car adornments. Your Prius purchase is a political choice. So are the custom tags on your Hummer that read "dPortEm." It should be more than symbolic that American car companies have tanked so apocalyptically that the gates of Hell have erupted out of the earth in the charred remains of Detroit. America: Built Ford Tough What would Ford drive if he were alive today? Probably a private jet with a bumper sticker that reads Don't Blame me, I voted McCain and on the wing Don't Blame me I voted American as he flies to Abu Dhabi on the same oil which built that city. Don't worry Ford we don't blame you, we blame you for dying. It was you who catapulted us into the 20th century and without your guiding economic and capitalistic hand (the invisible hand of the market?) we've gone array. It's you who should blame us. Look what we've done with your country, with your principle of the assembly line, we've prostituted it out to everyother economically colonizable space in the world.

Obama is what you get when you allow illegals, idiots, and welfare recipients the right to vote You're right bumper sticker keep applying that first amendment right to great effect from your tail bumper. It's you who is saving the rest of us from slipping into the evil dens of communism. With your flag a'waving and your love for the country stirring deep inside your very moral bones we should have bumper stickers thanking you! So please, keep covering your car excessively with the consumer products that have always marked America as the best country in the world. What other nation applies their adhesive to such good use?

Maybe we should all start riding bikes

Baby NOT on board