THINQon : How to deal with creeps?

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Julie Sabatier

How to deal with creeps?

Latest Post: July 31, 2010 at 7:49 PM

22 followers

I took the metro the other day and within a short period of time I was twice approached by creepy people. The first one was a big black guy who came sitting in front of me. I couldn’t help but notice something brown, round and smooth (no hair) just under the belly, and I thought well, it must be some special kind of leather belt. But then my eyes kept wanting to check if it was really a round belt or something else I suspected. Then I thought it’s a bit embarrassing to be looking always in that direction, and I was going to look away and concentrate on the windows when the guy moved his hand there and showed his penis. Yes, it was all out there. I could have left my place then, but I wasn’t really disturbed by the sight, more amused- which I admit is stupid, it’s obviously no laughing matter and the guy must have been quite disturbed to go like that in the paris metro in the middle of the day.

The second creepy encounter was much scarier though so much more banal. I was just walking, still in the metro looking at some ads on the wall and suddenly a guy came in front of me as if stumbling by error and putting his hands around me. I don’t think he really touched me, but I felt closed by the enemy.

I had a pretty bad day that day, and I’m wondering if these two creepy accidents were related to the whole day that went amiss. I don’t think I was inviting any of this, but maybe subconsciously creepy people have a sense of smell for this, like animals sensing they can take advantage of a weakness. I wonder if there is any solution to that?

Reply to:

Petra Vargas

May 2, 2010 at 7:27 PM

8 followers

Julie, I am glad to hear you emerged unharmed!
What a day that must have been.
I do think that such events have a psychological component. In part others can certainly "smell fear," in part sometimes when we are upset, we create situations (this is more true with frustration and anger than creepiness).

A friend told me that if a mad person is walking the streets you must not make eye contact with them. As long as they do not think you notice them, they are content to be in their own world, but if you make eye contact, suddenly they feel that you are in their world too and then they want to interact with you.

But sometimes one has no choice, as when one is alone or on a subway, there is really nowhere to go, and so saying there is a "psychological component" does not mean in any way that one is responsible, as Emily said much better.

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Andrew Esch

In response to Petra Vargas

May 4, 2010 at 12:07 AM

15 followers

Ugh. That's gross.

My sex seems to have a ridiculously high proportion of creeps as members. My condolences for having to live with us. I can only hope some of us occasionally succeed in making up for it in other ways.

"I wonder if there is any solution to that?"

Concealed carry? I guess that's probably illegal in the E.U. Might help to subconsciously project an intimidating aura.

Kidding...

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Geoff Michell

May 4, 2010 at 10:13 PM

4 followers

One way to think about creeps is to consider what their sexual fantasy is - and then disrupt it. Ladies, if you see a creep leering at you on the bus, or pulling out his junk - DO NOT blush and look demurely aside! DO NOT shriek and put your hand over your mouth! DO NOT giggle nervously!
Choices (depending upon the safety of the context):

1) Look him in the eyes and tell him he's pathetic

2) Tell him to put his damn pants on

3) Pick your nose or hork a big loogie (nothing turns off a person more than disgust - this is very good if you and the man are the only two in the metro car)

Exhibitionists are typically VERY meek individuals. They identify with the aggressor and try to make women or girls feel the vulnerable as a way to make themselves feel more sexually powerful. They are usually terrified of women - particularly assertive women. They might flash you in a park, but they would never have the courage to look you in the eyes at a bar.