I am a Mistress too. I have been the lover of a married man for 10 years. In addition I am in a long term relationship myself for over 20 years.
My partner is kind, loving, warm, demonstrative and understanding. My lover is all of those and more with a few distinct differences that make the affair one that
will not end any time soon. It is not sex as some would expect. The sex with my "partner" is fantastic and truth be told he is probably technically better in the bedroom in many ways than my "lover" is. It has very little to nothing to do with the sex. When we began to become friends we connected on a very deep level. Our love of music, travel, sex, and childhood experiences all were equally tantalizing. We talk. We talk and always have talked about everything under the sun and then some. We are able to discuss and talk without ever having said a cross word to each other for the entirety of our relationship. I cannot say the same for my Partner nor can he say the same for his "wife". As cabecre said He still lights up as do I whenever we see each other. How many "monogomously married" individuals can say that after 10 years? Not very many.
When suffering the slings and arrows of others judgement and their imposed "morality" on others I remind them of the classic bible verse "judge ye not, lest ye be judged" and "he who is without sin cast the first stone". If you think that you are perfect enough to cast condemnation of myself or others ask yourself this question..... Does your husband, partner, lover light up when he sees you or is he dreading coming home to your whining about his being late again, or that he forgot to take out the trash, or that he doesn't spend enough money on you etc etc etc? Do you make him feel like the only thing he is good for is to buy you things and to pay your bills? Is he having sex with a robot? Is it the same sexual position with the lights out for the last 10 years? Do you make him feel like a horny 15 year old that can't wait to eagerly please and be please or is it his "job" to "make love" to you when it takes everything he possibly can muster to even remotely be attracted to you after seeing you in your sweatpants and sloppy tshirt with no makeup on with your tampins in the bathroom?? To listen to you nag and whine until he signs his life away on a $400,000 dollar house just so you can keep up with the Jones' or prove to your friends and family that you are not really the daughter of a poor white laborer?
Be careful my friends....you will be judged by the same yardstick that you use to measure others. When you look down your nose at others and when you keep the wrong change at the grocery store or cheat on your taxes remember this thread.