The question in an aritcle I read last week was 'what would you do with cognitive enhancement?', like in the fiction "limitless" (didn’t see it); they go over what's immoral or unethical, like do you feel pressured to use Adderall in college because all the other kids are using it, to enhance their ability to study and focused, I guess. The question came up, 'if you could pick up a kindle or an iPad with cables that reach into your brain to give you cognitive enhancement, what would you read first?' and the answers were uninspiring, it was an early chemistry textbook, or an old classic of german philosophy, "to see if it was still as impenetrable to me as it was 30 years ago".
I realized I ask myself and answer this question regularly, whenever I have some extra time to start a project. Like Adderall, I use oolong tea from Mt Lee Shan in Taiwan, I actually had a guy who was teaching with me and using Adderall try switching, and he said this oolong stuff was better!
So I know how to do my cognitive enhancement, alright. No matter that I've been doing it for 46 years and have caught all the side effects, "ghost bugs", or schizophrenia in general, which I have recently speculated may be the direct effect of cognitive enhancement, or expanded consciousness.
In that article they contemplated human "outliers", people who might use the cognitive enhancement to become an "evil genius". The answer was that hubris has always been a part of mankind and presumably the majority of the cognitively enhanced crowd would rein in the few bad apples.
But they did not entertain the possibility that everyone develops schizophrenia, out of extended cognitive enhancement, a very real possibility, I think. Kids in the 99 percentile when tested on the reading and math tests, I always said that's not something to be proud of, hubristic parent, that's a warning sign; believe me, if you think faster and stronger than 99% of the population, you figure that out pretty fast, and they don't tend to be friendly, and so yes, you use those powers of mind to compete with the others, to outmaneuver from their reality, and go off on your own completely unsupervised, unsupervisable track, cause you realize early on when your parents have nothing to teach or offer you, and are completely lost as to how to guide you. So a mind like that easily becomes a train wreck, because it has no leadership but itself. Yeah, you kids on Adderall, welcome to your future.
So 46 years in, I learned to try to keep it shut down as much as possible, honestly, the cognitive enhancement I've built into my own mind.
But that unusual power of mine remains a treasured vice, to pull out of the toybox and look at wistfully on a boring sunday afternoon.
So when I realize I have my health, and a whole day, and some nice weather, and some lee shan oolong tea, what do I decide to DO with this cognitive enhancement?
I read, various things that I probably can't read without the enhancement, atleast not as efficiently. I read philosophy and literature and astrophysics, looking for ideas to play with and maybe write about.
But what I inevitably choose to do with the cognitive enhancement most of all is to put down the books, lay down in the dark with the shamanic journey drum tape banging in my ears, and spend an hour or two in an alternate reality, interacting with creatures from another dimension. When I come out I have bizarre stories to tell. It's a floridly psychotic way to spend the day, but with cognitive enhancement at your disposal, what did you expect was going to happen ????
The interviewer complained that in the movie "limitless" the character has this amazing cognitive enhancement stuff, and the best he can do is a wall street job with a nice car!
I'm thinking there are other "outliers" out here on the web; I wonder what the readers of this forum would do with cognitive enhancement, something better than picking up your old college chemistry book, or getting a job?
I have a theory of what sz is, this madness I focus on in myself and casually observe in others.
I think consciousness is the problem, some people way over develop it, (like me, I know), so I work on curing myself here in my hotel room, which I use as a private insane asylum with myself as full time nurse over myself, cause I've been through the system a dozen times and they have nothing to offer me, and they kick me out now they don't want me there.
I have a line from the taoist encyclicals, samizdats, and tractates I drag around as anchors, allowing me to catapult so far out into madness, well the line is "host and guest must be distinguished". Consciousness has to learn respect for its host.
Cause consciousness can be an asshole, commandeering the host for some destructive joy rides, when a more appropriate humility of consciousness in relation to its host -the organism - is what the majority of the herd - the "normal" people - practice.
I used to think, 'why would anybody avoid reading or exposing themselves to anything whatsoever?' I was always encouraged to research infinitely in libraries and bookstores and whatever else, by my parents and by my educators; my whole high school education was to go to the library and research and write papers, and look at me I still write these papers. I'm getting better at it. I was surprised when the first president bush one day on the news said, about some book the liberal media had asked him about or had pointed out some democrat challenger had been reading - oh yeah this was gore - and bush said "if I were him I wouldn't read that kind of thing". And at the time I just couldn't understand it, reading myself everything and anything all the time everywhere, like a two year old desperate to learn for pleasure. Infantile personality syndrome. Human neoteny, in the same vein as playing baseball, or valve trombone and piano, for a living, it's something the human species is known to push way past the typical envelope compared to most species, the stage of "play" that most animals grow out of early on, desperate to survive and be serious. Like the "normal" people of our culture, blue collar hard working or just lazy but friendly with their kind, relaxed and stout and hale in their ways, that tell me they don't think about the things I do because they are "just trying to get through life", they don't care about the non existence of gravity or the structure of the universe or the nature of the demon world. It's hard for me to relate, what do they all think about while they are waiting for the red light to change, or the next song to come on, or during the commercials, I'd think to myself for years, maniacal mind running away with me.
I thought time was the enemy. Thinking about the nature of time is a gateway to madness in dozens of authors I've read and posters I've conversed with, as it has been with myself; some of my most psychotic moments in life are related to my battle with time, me, the leader of all matter and energy in the war against time, with megadeth ferocity playing in my mind all day long.
But I came out the other end of madness, basically, going as far out there as I could and I guess it's like the drunks who say they can drink so much they can drink themselves sober. So I am so insane I've learned to behave myself among the worldly-minded camarilla, undercover.
I realized time is just consciousness, really, or they are deeply deeply intertwined, at any rate, and so "is consciousness the enemy" is a question every sz patient ought to ask themselves.
Then I distinguish host and guest, minute by minute. Guest turns on the tv when I come home from work, host turns it off to get some rest, guest eats sugar or caffeine (used to) and reads the paper and sz.com (still do), host needs to calm down and get some rest, meditate, it isn't like my parents inferred, that thought is no-cost-to-me so go down in the basement and do it do it do it to compete with that world out there you inferior spawn of my happy madness (that was pretty much the running message from my parents when I was young, as it was with other people growing up I've heard, though certainly not the majority, the kids sent out to play and get tough and learn to function with others).
And you think about it the doctors of the body never even FOUND consciousness, all their materialistic theories of brain mind have fallen amazingly short for the scientists who dream of knowing and controlling all of nature within their test tube. I watched my nieces and nephews grow up, round 2 to 3 years of age, and they were all psychotic, every last one, at that age, in one way or another, and they all learn to integrate, to one degree or another, and most "grow up" into "normality", but us, one hallmark of people with sz is that when you look back you can tell from the very beginning of the personality that something was off, something that either snaps into place or flies off the hinges in the early twenties.
And after 2 or 3 the parents start enforcing normality, as if for their own good, and back then I stood there feeling bad for the kid to have to lose the psychotic world that I get to retain, as they do in order to follow their parents into scared simplistic and blind normality. And I said it's like they are pulling the kid down, these genius kids who fly off at two years old to amazing heights of sentence and idea creation and play, only to be fired at with the heavy guns of their parents ' affection so that they come down in to consensual reality, so they can live on their own someday, and drive a car; (I stay out of driving cars and therefore reserve the right to be mad in america, atleast near the big cities.)
I said humanity, most of them, they have gone down into the rabbit hole, the test tube of human knowledge. And down there they can tell time and manipulate chemical reactions and build impressive machinery and even their silicon computer space age stuff, but they imagined, in the 50's, when my parents were taking it all in, that they could eventually understand everything, in another ten or twenty years, and just solve all the problems and be infinitely magical.
Then I realized they'd hit the wall, when I began the past 26 years' journey, with shamanism and insanity, the visionary mind. Realized science had NO IDEA what was going on, and with the track they were on they never would. Realized I could begin to learn freely but that I'd have to leave humanity, that "normal" part of the herd, behind. I'd have to climb back up out of the test tube of human knowledge that my parents surely tried to pull me down into, and out into the light of the world, to join my brothers the shamans, the spirits, the demons, the schizophrenics, and the two year olds, and all the trees and the other species, and the rocks and stars, out in to the world of mystery and wonder.
I like to say one day humanity will grow up, put away their "toys" of science and reason, in the toy box in the attic to be glanced at wistfully once in a while but left behind as neoteny mostly, (as I suspect the bird species currently deal with the faculty of language), and come up and out and join us, as we pursue our inner nature and our destiny, and search for mystery and wonder.
So I was hanging out in the demon world, growing up there cause I was bored with the human world, and they taught me how they complete the human genome so that it can bring destruction down on itself and on the universe, some master plan of destruction from the leaders of the religion of evil; I dropped out less than a year ago and am being tortured like someone who tries to get out of a gang, but no matter, and fear not, I am squarely on the side of humanity, my own, the host of the consciousness that's getting carried away again in this little paper, cause I have one more thing to say that's quite bizarre and a rather unique psychosis, and I'm definitely having this delusion full time these days, so I can say it quickly and clearly:
Yeah I found consciousness when another guy pointed out he had the same problem I do, infested with demons, and he had "starved the leech" to get it off and get it to behave. He had also gone in to their world, he told me he couldn't shake the idea that there was another world he was living in, and I introduced him to professional shamanism ("core shamanism" in new york city taught by graduates of michael harner, or something like that, you can jut google it and read it and get the training it's easy, but it's nice to have professional shamans for guidance, and in nyc they bring in shamans from the jungles and native civilizations from around the world to do hundred dollar an hour sessions, not much different from a psychiatrist visit, it was kinda fun.)
So I learned from experience how to starve the leech, it was give up carbs, sugar, processed food, eat only raw veggies, for the host, and protein and fat in proper proportion. Learned to build the body and the mind while starving the leech, host got stronger, guest leech got weaker, got easier to manage, and so the pdoc might say I got more sane.
Or not. I tell the pdoc I don't have sz, but I have an imagination approaching sz, only I know the difference between my world and consensual reality. I told my boss the sales director I practice irrationality, and in your culture they call that sz.
And I discovered that the demons, those maniacal completers of my genome, writing from the "junk dna" and rna onto the stuff they call dna, yeah, those demons are real, they're in the world of your scientists, but their prejudice in their own superiority made them completely overlook them. It's the fungus inside of you. Inside of me. Oh I'm infested. They think they are far superior to silly mortal man, with their immortal hive mind that spans the minds of most species on the planet, through which we can communicate with everyone everywhere, no cell phone minutes required, and they are waging an inter species war with their religion of evil, maniacal, not for the purpose of their own survival but like a warped damaged kid torturing his pet cat, they consider us "theirs", and oh they farm us.
And we the mad are just the canaries in the coal mine. The whole species is blindly pursuing consciousness expansion. They are in for some serious destruction. At best they will end up birds, at worst, cockroaches.