We put everything on the internet. Increasingly more so every day. The conversation used to be about how much we should show. How we should censor our facebook profiles and what's okay for our browsers to keep on file. That's changing. Our identities are changing. We are speaking in a new language. 

So far what we put onto the internet is peripheral. Jokes and games and thought bubbles and education summaries, workplace information, date of birth, etc. Little pieces of quantifiable exchanges that piecemeal your identity onto the web.

But what about feelings?

The internet has been booming for 15 years or so and the invasion is only gaining momentum. As we proceed and generations take over who always had google, how will our identities change? We will start to think differently of course. But will we also start to feel differently? 

It's a question of communication. It's a question of public vs. private. It's a question of secrets.

It's winter and I'm love sick and I'm thinking every day of this girl I miss and I'm cold and I'm knowing that I can't act on anything and it's all compounding like a sneeze that just won't blow. 

That was personal. And people are going to read it. Strangers. And maybe in the future someone who isn't a stranger will google search me and find a shadow of a feeling from December 18th at around 5:04 pm. Maybe it'll even be that girl or a new one. What then?

There's a vulnerability here on the internet. That we can express ourselves so nakedly honest on the internet and then it's kept there forever. Housed somewhere in an abstract server. Why is that okay? Maybe because even in its vastness the internet seems so empty. There is such a disconnect between me typing this on my laptop and you reading it from yours. I have no sense of you. I'm writing into a void. And there's power in that. It feels like the power of anonymity even as it is the opposite. 

But why do it? 

I'm not sure. I'm not sure if there needs to be a reason. Only that there is something intrinsically different about this now that I've written it here and not in a journal. 

Why transcribe feelings onto the internet? Aren't I just setting myself up for a loss? For someone to take shots at my honesty? It's not as if I need validation. Or do we?