I have a hickey the size of a football field on my neck. It looks like California. I think she had just watched True Blood or something because she just wouldn't let go. Or maybe my neck is just particularly tasty, I do wash it with the best lotion. It looks like someone took a bat straight to my neck. I didn't even know hickeys of this magnitude were possible.

Dilemma: Job interview. None of my collars even come close to covering the atrocity. What should I do? Put gauze over it and tell her a coyote jumped out of the gutter and ripped a gaping hole in my neck? Instead of a drug test she would require a rabies test. Could I tell her the truth? I don't know if that behavior is approved of in a formal office setting. Make-up? It's the color of a prune and my skin is as white as a bunny rabbit in a ghost costume. Make-up would stick out worse than a bunny in a ghost costume. Could I call in and pretend to be in the hospital? Delaying the interview until my gull bladder is removed or whatever obscure surgery was needed. Maybe I could kill off another one of my relatives. If Aunt Jillian found out how many times she has died to get me out of class I'm fairly confident that this Thanksgiving she won't give me first dibs on her famous mashed sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top.

What to do? What to Do?