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Meanwhile and make-believe
(Chapter 12 of Milosz's Road-side Dog.)

MEANWHILE AND MAKE-BELIEVE


To get up in the morning and go to work, to be bound to people by the ties of love, friendship, or opposition – and all the time to realize that it was only meanwhile and make-believe. For in him hope only was permanent and real, so strong that he was impatient with living. He was to catch now, in a minute – to catch what? A magic formula which contains all the truth about existence. He would brush his teeth and it was just there, he would take a shower and practically pronounce it, had he not taken a bus, it would have revealed itself, and so on all day long. Waking up at night, he felt he was working his way toward it through a thin curtain, but then, in that striving, he would fall asleep.

He did not regard kindly this affliction of his. He agreed with the opinion that he should be here – entirely present, in a given place and moment, attentive to the needs of those who were close to him and fulfilling their expectations. To think that they were just for meanwhile and that he practiced with them a make-believe was to harm them, yet he was unable to renounce the thought that, really, he had no time for life with them.
Books Discussed
Road-side Dog
by Czeslaw Milosz

A nice description of the two worlds the philosopher inhabits. The eternal and permanent one of pure truth and the ephemeral-meanwhile which is life on earth with friends, family, and other people  Which one is really the make-believe one? Which is the real one?

"yet he was unable to renounce the thought that, really, he had no time for life with them."
What a brilliant line! He beautifully captures the utter silliness of the philosopher's position, while effectively transmitting the philosopher's desire for permanent truth.
Great people always live simultaneously in several times - the present, the future, and the eternal. They need to figure out how to co-exist in all of them. Sometimes forsaking the present for the future, sometimes for the eternal, and sometimes forsaking everything for the present.
They see a future or may try to create it (for example, Alexander the great cutting the Gordian knot, and imagining a unified world). They imagine their place in the book of history (Achilles), which is to be distinguished from imagining their name in history books, that is, being famous (not greatness).

"So in a running stream one wave we see
After another roll incessantly,
And line by line, each the other flee.
By this one, that one ever on is sped,
And this one by the other ever led
The water still does into water go,
Still the same brook, but different waters flow."
-La Boétie

To live only in the flowing present doesn't seem enough. We want to capture the eternal, THE Truth - the one and only. This is what we all want. For some it lies in philosophy, for some in love, for some in something else. We all want to hold on to something real and not make-believe.
(I didn't italicize the La Boétie quote. Writing on the flow of water, it seemed to me that the font needs to be straight to work.)

When these sensations go haywire, we get Kanye West (in Monster):
"I'm living in the future so the present is my past
My presence is a present, kiss my ass."


Casanova is famous for living in the present, from a philosophical standpoint as well as a physical one (or so say literary critics), yet he wrote an autobiography, a very long one, which he cared tremendously to publish. An autobiography written for the future, or for the eternal?
Books Discussed
History of My Life, Vols. 1-2
by Giacomo Chevalier de Seingalt Casanova

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