Just a remark.
I read your question just after posting about "the lens of the telescope," post so naturally that's the movement that comes to mind. You start dating someone from a different culture, say Italy, and you think of Italian culture as being fairly monolithic until you get close enough to see that the northern Italians are nothing like the southern, the Romans, the Sicilians, etc. Not to mention the particular politics of the region and the family traditions, where people remember that 2 generations ago someone's grandfather married a woman from the rival village nearby.
At the same time every once in awhile there will be some major misunderstanding and he'll say: "But I'm Italian!" or "You're such an American." Not without reason.

It's funny how people are composed of so many different pieces: broad stereotypical strokes and very precise ones, all at the same time.

Hi,
One difference I would say between what is usually called mixed couples, that is mixed-race couples, and mixed-culture couples, is that for mixed-culture couples the difference is more interior to the relationship rather than clear to everyone outside of it. When seeing a black and white couple people see a difference on the outside, but different cultures seem identical to the outside. Inside the relationship though, when in the bedroom, when in the kitchen, when in living room, everything is different. But even there, it is, many times, an invisible difference. It seems like a matter of difference of opinions, but goes much deeper.

It has its difficulties, definitely, but as you say Virginia, what's the alternative?

A certain understanding and connection of people from the same culture, who grew up together, as is still common in certain places, is something most of us can only imagine. It is no longer part of our world of travelers. I'm not even sure it still exists anywhere. I think it would be nice to experience actually, but then I fear it is impossible as what culture am I? I'm no longer part of any culture, but take a certain small part in many, and it is the same with most people I know. It's all a matter of how the ingredients are mixed, and the chance of finding a similar mix is slim.

I did once meet someone who I felt was exactly me. A female version of me. She didn't come from the same background or culture at all, but in some ways I guess she did. I guess the relationship was somewhat like the Seinfeld episode when he is dating himself as a woman - doesn't really work.

I would be very interested in hearing people's stories of how differently they felt with a similar or different background partner. Or, maybe we should take the discussion to a more specific area, and ask for suggestions of how to resolve issues. (For instance, would we call mixed-religions couples different-culture or different race? There are obviously many problems to solve there.)

To take a slightly different approach to the question, I'll mention the question of intellectual culture. When I was younger and terribly precocious one of the distinguishing features of my philosophy was that I read lots of interesting and esoteric books. The few times I met someone with the same literary vocabulary it was deeply attractive to me. But the attraction in all cases was much more superficial than I had hoped. There is something quite passive in being able to make endless references, even if it is very satisfying. It is sadly not at all a good predictor of having wrestled with the same intellectual issues in the same way.