THINQon : Needs?

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Kraye Grymonnt

Needs?

Latest Post: July 31, 2010 at 7:09 AM

6 followers

The subject of "need" came up in another post and it was suggested that I start another line of inquiry.

For me, it was always very confusing, "need" vs "preference". Need seemed to be much more urgent, much more do-or-die, whereas preference was more laissez-faire, fine if I do and ok if I don't.

Looking at a plant, "What does this plant need?" (Not having a green anything, I have assisted in the death of well over my fair share of plants) Well.... water, sunshine, soil, nice temperature. "And if you take any of these things away?" It will die.

Using "need as something without that the system will fail", what do humans need? Not much.

It's been argued, "Well, what do you need to play football?" Well, what do you need so that the system "playing football" functions. You could even say, "What do you need to play football WELL?" That leads into a whole set of "Well, what the hell does well mean?"

Does a human need love to function? Does a human need full nutritional compliments to keep from dying? Does a human need all it's limbs to function?

So where is this all going? Well, I think it speaks to the quality of human experience. If you have someone who is saying, "I need my double mocha frapachino in the morning" or you have, "I like having my double mocha frapichino in the morning" there is a qualitative difference, both externally and internally. If you are using need as in, "I will suffer such that I cannot fucntion" when talking about your frapachino, there is an awful lot of power in that frapachino and an awful lot of victim in you. You are being done to by your frapachino.

Look around your life at your "needs". It certainly is easier to motivate or put your attention on obtaining something if it is essential to your survival. If your needs are re-evaluated as "preferences", there's a whole lot more breathing room in your life. If it doesn't feel like a life-or-death struggle, what happens to your searches? For love, for the right job, for relevance, for meaning, for relationship, for anything.

If you buy into that you can sacrifice your very life for something that you believe in enough, then you don't really need anything. It's surprising how much of what we think we need for survival is programmed fear, "Without a relationship, I'm nothing." Working with hospice clients, I see a lot of, "What used to be so important, just isn't anymore." What exactly are any of us sacrificing to meet our unconscious beliefs about what we should be? How many of us are very, very accoustemed to the adreneline of the chase for our needs, "Have to get this! Have to get this!" The "thrill" of the chase for that that means continued existance as we know ourselves.

Driven by needs or dancing with preferences?

Reply to:

Jeffrey Yuan

July 31, 2010 at 2:29 AM

0 followers

I tend to agree with you, Krave, that a need should be defined as what is required to "make a system run" or maintain the status quo. When people say, "I need coffee everyday," or "I need to get a haircut," they're exaggerating unless they mean that without coffee or with very long hair they wouldn't be able to survive.

However, someone in the topic where this question was raised made the point that needs are associated with a purpose, so the statement, "I need coffee in order to feel energetic in the morning," seems to be more correct. The thing is, when people leave off the purpose, they're implying an absolute purpose, which I usually equate with survival.

The question, "do people need love?" was particularly intriguing to me though. My gut response is no, because people do get through life without it, and they can still experience moments of happiness, achievement, and productivity without ever feeling it. However, when I ask myself if I need love, I can't help but say I do, in the sense that I need it eventually or else life might not be worth living (and here I'm talking about romantic love). I would suggest that love goes beyond the question of preferences - do you prefer a life with or without love? - and is something that most people need in order to live a meaningful life.

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matt ireland, leaves are greener now, for I am being properly...

In response to Jeffrey Yuan

July 31, 2010 at 7:09 AM

14 followers

Hi there Krave!

I am reminded of an exchange that I had with one of my teachers in High School. I had impressed this person with my breadth of thinking about others, and she gave me a set of notes that had been passed to her in a conference of some kind, aimed at helping her to direct and nurture kids.

Two sets of notes were given, covering two separate but related topics:

Maslow's hierarchy of needs
Kohlberg's stages of moral development

pesky cut and paste! i did not intend to shout those words...

All I got back then were graphics, much like overhead projector slides. but the sheer amount of knowledge conveyed was enough to keep me thinking for a very long time.

Anyhow, these ideas are not perfect (ideas so seldom are!) but they gave me a lot of food for thought back then. and in our wired digital day, you can whip up all you'd care to know about them in an instant on wikipedia in the next window! I just did...

Now that I have grown, I see some issues with these systems of thought, but I have no doubt that they were very influential in America, given the way I learned about them.

I don't know if this is the sort of questions you had in mind, but it gives you an idea what so-called 'professionals' think about these issues!

The question of love and intimacy is where I have the most doubts. I can't draw anybody near me, but I have certain pinnacley bits of development... I suspect that question is not well solved even today.