That's a tough one. I'd say the main problem is that the world is full of people who think that dancing, in particular dancing in clubs, is a prelude to hooking up and will not only try to push things in this direction, but even feel quite appropriate doing so. 

I'd say you basically have two real options.

1. Limit your dancing to very specific contexts where the boundaries are pre-set and everyone knows and respects them. This could include: joining a competitive amateur ballroom dancing league, dancing only with people you know off the dance floor, and dancing in well lit places which do not serve alcohol. 

2. Branch out of partner dancing; or move (or take regular trips) to a country which has a culture of dancing which you find suits your style. It is unlikely that you would be so unhappy with your partners at a Viennese waltz. Salsa is a high-contact dance and opens you up to the possibility of unwanted touching much more than, say, Irish sword dancing or ballet. 

If 2 sounds less exciting, then I'd add another comment on 1. It seems to me that in your case the anonymity of the encounter very much works against you. It means first that you might be attributed motives (or consent) which are patently false, and second that there is essentially no reason why your partner would care not to offend you -- if he makes a move, the worst that happens is that you walk off. Whereas if you were set up by his domineering aunt, he'd probably act differently.  Let's face it, dancing done well has an extremely sensual quality. If you want that sensuality to stay put, simmering below the surface, you're much better off in a context -- like an organized dance or among acquaintances -- where societal pressure can work its magic imposing restraints. 

Dear Anita,

I found some solutions for this problem. It is usual that guys touch you when they dance, especially the ones who don’t know you. They are probably also trying to get to know who you are through your body and movements(this reminds me a bit of the dogs going and sniffing each other’s behinds...a sort of natural and animal reaction). Now I agree that some of them are not very subtle on how they do it. You could either take the chance of dancing with everyone and taking the risk of falling sometimes on brutes and uncultivated guys that will try and take advantage -  in that case you should stop immediately dancing the moment you feel uncomfortable. Don’t be afraid to be rude, your limits should be very clear to you and then you can try to make them clear through your body language to your partner. If he doesn’t understand and goes over the borders, it’s not your fault and it is then not rude to stop dancing. The fact that you are not a doll one can do whatever one likes with is the most important fact to clarify from the beginning.


The other solution is to dance with “steady” partners, your boyfriend or any other friend you like.

Anita,
I am very sorry to hear about your troubles.  I believe that it's probably the clubs you are frequenting that is the problem.  Try to find a club/dance studio/event where salsa dancing lessons are being given on a regular basis - you will probably find a group of people more dedicated to dancing and not to getting drunk and hanging all over women.

I have no idea what your musical tastes run to, but I will say that if you enjoy goth/industrial/ebm music, you might try the darker side of life :-)   In goth clubs pretty much everyone dances alone or in a circle of friends, and no one is touching anyone unless it is previously agreed upon verbally.  Everyone in that scene is very friendly, polite, and very strict about harassment.  Of course, the dancing is more free-form and personal instead of proscribed (like ballroom or salsa dancing).