THINQon : Suicide

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Suicide

Latest Post: September 15, 2011 at 1:19 AM

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Is suicide ever an option? It is my opinion that this act, if chosen should not be considered shameful. I would argue that it takes a massive amount of courage to follow through with it, and if there is not any point in going on why should one. to paraphrase Hobbes, this life is solitary, nasty, brutish and short.

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Emily Andrews

March 11, 2011 at 11:00 PM

31 followers

I'm sure we can think of cultures where suicide, in certain instances, is a noble and courageous act. For instance, Japanese feudal culture. There may be examples from courtly love. But there are also many, I would even say most, cases where it is not. I don't think that any "act" itself can necessarily be considered honorable or not without consideration of the person involved and the circumstances.

I think it is very important not to glamorize suicide. There is a real asymmetry in the way many people romanticize the idea. They think, Oh, life isn't worth living, it would be noble and honorable to end it all. But were a friend or loved one to think the same way, they would be horrified. They would spend years wishing they had had just one more conversation with this person they loved, just to understand. Suicide is an extremely strong rejection of others, and can often be something deeply selfish. At the very least, it can say "my pain was so great, you cannot imagine, I could not bear it" and this is hard not to interpret as an accusation.

Philosophically, we could ask, is suicide really courageous? What makes this a hard question is that you do not really experience it. You intend to do something, and if it succeeds, you are unaware of the result. Is an intent courageous? In what sense does one really understand the fact of one's own death?

Usually, in my opinion, the really courageous act is to go on living, to deal with the unhappiness, uncertainty and pain, and to make something of one's remaining time despite it all.

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Jackie Pugh, I miss my pink hair.

March 12, 2011 at 12:31 AM

25 followers

When I was in high school, I read this article in Reader's Digest and I thought it was so moving that I saved it even though I never imagined I would ever in my life want to commit suicide. But ten years later, when I was contemplating suicide, the things this article said stayed my hand and helped me end up in a psych ward instead of the morgue (or worse). As I read it now, I suppose it's a little melodramatic, but it sure stuck in my head. It took all of the glamor out of suicide and didn't allow me to gloss over what it would do to the people who loved me.

"Before You Kill Yourself" by Renee T. Lucero (Reader's Digest -- June 1985).

You've decided to do it. Life is impossible. Suicide is your way out.

Fine -- but before you kill yourself, there are things you should know. I am a psychiatric nurse, and I see the results of suicide -- when it works and, more often, when it doesn't. Consider, before you act, these facts:

Suicide is usually not successful. You think you know ways to guarantee it? Ask the 25-year-old who tried to electrocute himself. He lived. But both his arms are gone.

What about jumping? Ask John. He used to be intelligent with an engaging sense of humor. That was before he leaped from a building. Now he's brain-damaged and will always need care. He staggers and has seizures. He lives in a fog. Worst of all, he knows he used to be normal.

What about pills? Ask the 12-year-old with extensive liver damage from an overdose. Have you ever seen anyone die of liver damage? You turn yellow. It's a hard way to go.

What about a gun? Ask the 24-year-old who shot himself in the head. Now he drags one leg, has a useless arm and has no vision or hearing on one side. He lived through his "foolproof" suicide. You might too.

Who will clean your blood off the carpet or scrape your brains from the ceiling? Commercial cleaning crews may refuse that job -- but someone has to do it.

Who will have to cut you down from where you hanged yourself or identify your bloated body after you've drowned? Your mother? Your wife? Your son?

The carefully worded "loving" suicide note is no help. Those who loved you will never completely recover. They'll feel regret and an unending pain.

Suicide is contagious. Look around at your family. Look closely at that 4-year-old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight and he may do it 10 years from now.

You do have other choices. There are people who can help you through this crisis. Call a hotline. Call a friend. Call your minister or priest. Call a doctor or the hospital. Call the police.

They will tell you that there's hope. Maybe you'll find it in the mail tomorrow. Or in a phone call this weekend. But what you're seeking could be just a minute, a day or a month away.

You say you still don't want to be stopped? Still want to do it? Then I may see you in a psychiatric ward later. And we'll work with whatever you have left.

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Graham A Nelson

In response to Jackie Pugh

March 12, 2011 at 11:21 PM

26 followers

"Suicide is contagious. Look around at your family. Look closely at that 4-year-old playing with his cars on the rug. Kill yourself tonight and he may do it 10 years from now."

Indeed, it is contagious. Almost as if it embeds into the DNA to be passed along to the next generation! I cannot put my finger on the stats right now, so I shall offer something in the round of what they are ... When someone kills themselves brothers, sisters, cousins and especially children of the deceased suddenly become something 6 times more likely to follow suit at a later date.

There are other consequences, too. When someone kills themselves, they generally leave behind them at least one person racked with guilt, perhaps beating up on themselves for not having noticed the deceased was suicidal, or for not helping them enough, or for doing something they imagine triggered the event. And then, there will be the friends or relations who will acrimoniously divide for a lifetime as they squabble over who they believe was at fault for making life unbearable for the deceased or not helping them enough, etc.

Plus, there is the issue of the method used. Train or truck drivers who have people effectively fling themselves in front of their vehicles are often psychologically damaged by the experience. (I heard of one London Underground train driver who had something like 3 people jump under his train over a 1-2 month period. That did for him! He's not been fit to work since.)

So, suicide come with a lot of responsibility! But "personal responsibility" is hardly the first thing that will be considered in a troubled mind. (Funny thing - when I had planned my exit many years ago, having decided on the where, how and when, the only other thing that bothered me was that I should be wearing a clean pair of underpants!) That's the trouble with reason - there isn't any when you lose it!

Postscript (March 13, 2011 at 9:44 AM):

Forgot to say, I've no intention of checking out now! :o)