"What I'd really like to see in 2012 ? " .....maybe something beautiful, something inspirational, something sad, something funny.....
~ Your hopes, dreams and aspirations are legitimate. They are trying
to take you airborne, above the clouds, above the storms, if you only
let them. ~ William James
"After we lost Finley it seemed for a while that I lost my hope. The
future was not the bright place it was meant to have been, it wasn’t the
place it used to be either. For a while, hopes and dreams and
aspirations were impossible to find, I didn’t even remember that I used
to have them. Then the false hopes and dreams existed, those moments
where you allow yourself to believe that Finley is here but sleeping and
you are rudely awoken from this day dream in the supermarket where a
baby cries, and you turn to him and realise again that it’s not your
baby, never your baby. Even though you know he is gone, that instinct
that awoke during those months of carrying them and suddenly blazed
bright the moment they are born responds without you asking it to. Your
stomach turns over every time you hear a baby cry, your heart breaks
every time you see a Mum shout at her child, you wake in the night
thinking you can hear them, feel them or smell them.
But hope is an amazing thing. It does return. With a little
digging, you can find that tiny little sparkle. It may be miniscule,
you may walk right past it but it is there. It can be nurtured and it
grows. And with the return of hope comes the return of the future. Its
not what it was going to be, nor is it what you imagined but it is
there. Just one step away, and one more and one more. And if there is a
future there are dreams and aspirations. They too have changed, they
might be bigger or smaller than before but they are there. I found that
my new dreams related to Finley. To keeping his memory alive in many
ways, but then underneath I realised that all of these things had been
dreams before. They just had no focus. I’d always wanted to write a
book, so I wrote one about Finley. I’d always wanted to use my skills
to support others, so I do this in memory of Finley. Perhaps other
people don’t understand it, but when you have been through a loss you
do. The child you lost is always with you, beside you, in your heart
and in your thoughts. They exist in every minute of every day. This
fact in itself is enough to bring you a shard of hope to get you through
the darkest days.
Your hopes, dreams and aspirations are legitimate. They are trying to
take you airborne, above the clouds, above the storms, if you only let
them.
If you find your hope, and your dreams, allow them to take you above
the clouds – there they will meet your angel who will add strength to
them".
