Hi Jessie,

What an interesting question you raise! I think we need to keep this in context.  Americans are very enthusiastic about marriage. I believe we have the highest rate of marriage - and divorce - in the developed world. I don't think marriage is the only or the best form for "real" adult relationships. It's just the religious or legal recognition of a promise that may or may note be kept.  To me the real commitment comes when you have a child. That lasts for a lifetime, regardless of your marital status.

On marriage, it would be difficult to convince me that marriage - rather than being the "default" - should be held as the ideal. Always.
Married with children re-enforces that ideal evermore.

If two people over time (usually several years) realize their marriage still has mutual value(s) but the sexual aspect of that marriage has waned, or worse, become non-existent, then an open discussion should take place to set boundaries for sexual relation  &  fulfillment outside of that marriage. Many times it doesn't and when it is uncovered, naturally, the other spouse is offended and there goes the divorce rate, up again.

As difficult as the discussion maybe, if the marriage, in the opinion of the partners is worth keeping, then communication on extra-curricular activity must take place.