“What is reality for that matter? “
 
I don’t know that’s part of what I’m trying to figuring out.

“'I would never convict a man of murder without proof positive.'  But if I were in the situation you describe would I want this man to go free?  Even if he hadn't done it his life would be in danger out on the street.  The correct circumstantial evidence is enough to convict in some cases--if it’s overwhelming--well...”

Proof positive in these days means DNA evidence, SOLID DNA evidence, however, sometimes if the case is particularly gruesome the cops are under pressure to make an arrest, and sometimes arrest the wrong person when they rush the case; if there is no DNA evidence the jury at this point might actually make an emotional conviction based on witness, or the victims families’ testimony and usually the “shady character” of the defendant (someone might be a thief or drug dealer but that doesn’t necessarily mean he/she is the killer, and the jury wants this to be all over as soon as possible too) – its an emotional conviction. When I was in high school I went and saw a murder trail as a field trip for my criminal justice class:Massachusetts vs. David Lamb, here’s the short and sweet story of it. He was convicted of beating a friend to death. However his friend’s body was never found - neither was the murder weapon. But this David guy just all around looked creepy, and he had a black belt in martial arts and based on his ex girlfriend’s testimony he had a short temper (and she said she heard him brag about the killing, but this part of the testimony got her a lesser sentence for an unrelated charge). David’s mom was very hostile towards the prosecutor, which in turn kind of made her look guilty (she was accused to helping cover up the murder – she worked for the town forestry , in which she incinerated road kill) So the theory was David killed friend, mom destroyed all evidence. Oh and I need to mention that the friend he was accused of killing was known to just up and leave for months and even a couple years on end without notifying anyone – he was what we here would call a “couch surfer” – so this should’ve have been a missing person’s case but people got mad and started pointing fingers everywhere. Now when the supposed murder victims’ mom (I think it was his mom, could’ve been his aunt, whichever she was the legal guardian and was considered his mother) got on the stand she gave a very emotional testimony in which she sincerely felt in her gut that her son was dead and that David had killed him, and that pretty much sealed David’s fate. Some of the jury members were crying as this woman was giving her testimony on her gut feelings – The jury wasn’t really thinking about whether this man was truly guilty- they were thinking that they could end this case so this woman could go home and start to try and find peace. I’m not sure if he is actually guilty, I’m defiantly suspicious of it, but I don’t believe the trail provided proof beyond a reasonable doubt. But he is serving the sentence either way.

“Even if he hadn't done it his life would be in danger out on the street. “

Yes, very possibly true, however everybody else’s life would be in danger if the actual killer was still walking around.

Anyways, this case was just an example of what I’m trying asking about truth and reality. This question actually popped into my head when I had a huge falling out with my parents a few years ago.  A boyfriend of mine was living with us, and my parents just absolutely loved him. Things were all peachy until I went to college- and then he became very paranoid about me finding a new guy on campus, he got so paranoid that he started to become abusive – eventually I just wanted to leave him and kick him out of my house! But whenever I would try to talk to my parents about his abuses – both verbal and physical, he would just deny and so would my parents, and his friends of course, backed him up ( I didn’t have any friends on my side since I didn’t have any friends- he was too jealous).  It just seemed so crazy to me,  because he wouldn’t allow me to use my cell phone, I couldn’t leave the house, couldn’t stay on campus between classes, he would just swear at me and threaten to commit suicide if I didn’t come home right away, and there were a few times I was late and he choked me. But whenever I would tell someone about it they didn’t believe me – all this was happening and everyone around me was telling me that it didn’t. So I kind of lost a sense of what truth and reality is- after all this I had gained the reputation of a liar, but I wasn’t lying, but the truth as everyone else see’s it is that I lied and none of the choking or threatening ever happened – but it did, but I have to live as though it didn’t. So I’ve begun to wonder whether or not the truth even matters at all – especially if it can just be made up, ( I thought the truth was something you couldn’t make up because its supposed to be about what actually happened, reality, while a lie was something you made up). So right now it doesn’t seem to matter what happened then- I still get to live with the reputation as a liar, whether or not I’m am, so I might as well be. What people consider truth may be different from the reality of the situation, and that has my mind in a knot. I’m usually a good writer, but only when I write about things I’ve already figured out, so sorry if the way I said some things may not have made much sense. As for my example, it would have to suck to be branded a murderer if you are not, it would suck to live like murderer when you are not. It would suck to be remembered as a murderer if you were not- but it happens to some people and it’s kind of the most extreme variation of an example of what I’ve been through.
 
“It's comforting to think that truth and reality are well-defined and the same for everyone.  But they are not. “

Well…. crap.  

Thanks for reading and for your input!! I do appreciate it J

Wow, Jen, what a story.  I have no trouble believing you though. 
It's a tough way to find out that truth for some people is what they want to believe.
When you come up against something like that you just have to walk away--easier said than done esp. when it's your family--because they are in the grip of a fantasy and you can't disprove a fantasy.
I'm so sorry that happened to you.