Some day, maybe, humanity will eat a big rock and get smart. But the world governments are stifling the process. They recall the lead-paint toys - THIS IS WRONG!!! LEAD AND ARSENIC AND GOLD, VERMILLION, CINNABAR, REALGAR, this stuff is FOOD! it's food for people who want to transcend the world, live forever as stars, fly away into the sky in broad daylight, merge the seen and the unseen.


It's the "test tube of human knowledge", I always say. They fell down the hole of human knowledge, around two years old, and the thing is not everything will go down there, there is some stuff that will be forever cut off from you if you go down the hole of human knowledge. It is written, it's a well with writing that leads all the way down the pit.

I think humans are a toddler species, and will someday put away their toys - their "science " and "reason" - and put them in the toybox it the attic, to be later looked back at whistfully, and meanwhile come out of the hole and join our family, the spirits, the trees, the 2 year olds, the schizophrenics, the shamans, in the world of mystery and wonder.


Like a bandit's outrage on the morning of sentencing,
farm seething, roses bleeding,
I spend the Way and eat the fray!!!!


I am a student of world religions and philosophies, as well as a student of shamans, schizophrenics' word salads, nobel prize winning schizotypal poetry, the voices and visions of the demon world, any possible alternative theories of physics, madness and it's history, and whatever else I happen to get exposed to in the libraries and book stores of the world. I am a student of the collective unconscious, the source of those religions of the world, and so I'd expect my point of view, unusual among the worldly minded camarilla, would actually be quite common across the religious disciplines of history, whether I realize it or not, just as Hegel's 19th century german philosophy that stood out in his time and place was very much like 4th century chinese taoism,like my native aztec nagualism, and is actually said to go back to hermes trismagestes and some jade tablet he had that had been buried with able, the guy cane slew in the bible, and being the son of a german jesuit roman catholic priest, I did grow up with the stories of the bible, the devil and jesus my early favorite characters, so "magical", I thought, my role models.

And so if I spent all that time in the libraries, it's not like I don't appreciate human knowledge. Yet I go around making that comment all the time, about the test tube of human knowledge, (changed from "hole" when a friend started asking if I meant "whole" of human knowledge), and here is the point, there's alot of stuff, stuff I am interested in, and stuff I think would have been important for mankind's development to have been interested in, and that stuff isn't ever going to be discovered in that test tube. Congradulations to man, figuring out what he has so far, and becoming the top predatory species, honestly, congradulations dude. But let's not blow this out of proportion, you're a killer, not a god. What you know is how to chop stuff up and describe it, how to manipulate the world around you, and that's what all the creatures were trying to do, which is why I say congradulations. But I guess I'm no humaninst, I do not see the case for human superiority, or for the level of comfort that mankind demands and considers a "right" today. The stuff I'm interested in, what is it? The unseen, the imaginary friends of my nieces and nephews, the spirit world of shamanism, the cloud of witnesses of catholicism, heaven itself for that matter if we're going down that route, what I'm interested in is the king and the queen of the sun sitting at its center, and the tea they are brewing there,"dark-enigma"; Shamanism teaches me some of what I want to know, as do the demons of the spirit world, and the schizophrenics of this world. Science, for it's part, says there's an invisible force in the ground holding us down, but offers no proof! In the 50's, thought by now we'd extract nutrition from food and we'd be eating pills. Meanwhile they are still selling calcium supplements for millions of dollars a year, and they just figured out that stuff doesn't work; like most nutrients, you have to get it the natural way. They sell resveratrol in extract form, but it's known that you have to drink the wine, pinot noir, frokm a region where the grape struggled for it's existence. Because there is still mystery; we don't know what we're eating, we are interacting with spiritual creatures. Tao, I'm taught, never misses a thought, responds to every thought everywhere all the time. Communication can take place, if you are on good terms with the spirit world, without needing a cellphone and a satellite, and the insistence of "western" science on their own way is offensive to this point of view. It's why the arabs put up such a fight, I think, fighting for the dignity of a world without the test tube of human knowledge, and honestly, on that I'm with them. No roadside bomb making for me, but I'm rooting for the good guys, the spiritualists, in this battle for our species' direction. (honestly I don't think those guys should fight us, I think they already won by not falling down the hole, and they should just walk away and consider the western world animals in a zoo, and propose to build a fence around us. That would be taking the moral high ground, and would piss off the animals, but also maybe teach and inspire some.)

I go around trying to say this quickly and pithily, a sound bite in the midst of technical classes I teach, but I discovered a master saying it better, and going farther! For my part, I'm taking the guidance of some taoist samizdats/encyclicals/tractates I read, the "statutes of mystery metropolis", where the guidance is to become what we would call in american society "floridly psychotic"; the vision of the tao te ching is not hard working people driving to work and growing the economy, but simple people, uneducated, never leaving their villiage, just cooking and farming, being happy and full, and dreaming of the taoist immortals. They give me the direction that I repeat in my little presentation about science and reason being toys for the toybox. they say "pursue inner nature and destiny, and search for mystery and wonder". And what's going on around me, industrial culture, strikes me as a mistake compared to the vision I've been shown by these eastern poets. (My german/mexican genome gives me bias, as my mexican genome is a subset of the chinese genome, and so these concepts resonate with me in a way they do not seem to with most of my american california peers.)


The master I discovered was no regular humanist in the test tube of human knowledge. His name is Musil. I just discovered his monumental 2000 page novel "the man without qualities", he spent 20 years writing it, told his wife he was gonna win the nobel prize, didn't, but there are some classic chapters in there, and though I'm not done, one chapter stands out, for it elaborates passionately on the rarely presented theme above.

In the amazing chapter 72 of "the man without qualities", science is compared to evil, a man smiling into his beard, making believe this is all about being nice to humans, to help them, all the while taking over the province that previously belonged to hunters and butchers, cutting evrything up to take control of it, a chapter that agrees with me that it all started around the 1600's, madness go locked down, kicked out, and science came out to take over, no longer discussing what the nature of reality was, but merely describing how it moves and how to count it, break it down into components and take power over the environment. Thing is the only thing you can take power over is the little hole of human knowledge, and c'mon, that's not what life is about, is it?

Up here with the trees and the schizophrenics and the shamans and the two year olds, pursuing "mystery and wonder", reality can be many different things. It seems to me the problem is the mode of transportation for most people is the automobile, the economy depends on it, I see the look in the eye of the capitalist industrialist when I ride a bicycle. And if they're gonna be drivin, they're gonna have to be sober-minded, and if we're gonna build dense cities for industry, these people are gonna have to learn to be docile, eat from a can and stay still in a dirty hovel, and not complain, and we need drugs to put down the ones who do complain.

It seems to me "maturity", ie "science and reason", is a mutation that is only a useful adaptation for a small minority, to watch over us and be our keepers, be our parents, and the rest of us, we take the bus, just strap us in to the car seat, and we dream, floridly psychotic, and we chop up the world around us, and we find new ways, you never know, in the mystery and wonder. And once you never know, you can lead the world, the taoists say.


I realize my attitude in the post is not one that many assent to easily. I got it out of eastern mysticism, this is the west, I don't expect much resonance, just like to show how crazy I can be, and I've been listening to live versions of Dire Straits "industrial disease" on you tube, hey, "sociologists invent words that mean industrial.. disease!". And there's no industrial disease in the us, they don't want us thinking like that, nothing in the dsm iv, but in japan, it's eastern culture, and they admit it, they call it "americanitis", and mtm is the cure - morita therapy method, it's a matter of dropping out and meditating and doing manual labor calmly for a while, till you get back to sitting at a computer, getting another case of industrial disease!

And another big reason I don't side with science: my ghost bug condition. 25 years ago I went to doctors and asked what science had to ofer a sufferer with invisible bugs all over his body. It's 25 years later, and I still have to fight, two days ago I had to declare I was ready to take hostages before I got a bottle of seroquel, and it didn';t help, got me to pass out for four hours in the infestation but when I woke up I was so bitten up it was like having poison ivy all day. But the dsm iv says mite infestation is all in your head, bird mites dot org says it's real, they found it with the pest control people, and it's insidious. So science, specifically medicine, hasn't done right by me. I'm suicidal about my condition most of the day most days. I keep pulling the punches, but survival is getting tricky and challenging. I spend my whole day suffereing and working to prepare so I can get a few hours sleep and then continue suffering.

And to assent to this kind of point of view, you gotta get past sacrificing people. I'm aztec, by race, so it comes naturally to me, and I'm half demon, we kill and kill for sport, in the demon world, so sacrificing humans always seemed appropriate to me, they are not on the endangered species list, or even threatened. Oh, make no mistake, the dragons of king arthur legend stalk and abound, but the dragon slayer got them broken down to microscopic components, so now on e dragon equals a hundred billion dust mites and bird mites attacking, relentlessly, demonically, as they can attack and be killed and come back magically to keep fighting, like the demons in the demon world, like the jinn who combat american forces in iraq and afganistan, blowing themselves up in suicide bombings again and again, demon technology.

Yes, once you get past sacrificing humans, you can accept sacrificing their comfort and their way of life. Relax, I'm not in politics or law enforcement, and I know I read way too many philosophy books, so don't worry about my anti-humanist, floridly psychotic point of view, I'm not hurting anybody. Like the girl who decides she wants to go silent and live homeless and live in a dream world of her own brilliant creation, causing her family to post on this website about an intervention and forced hospitalization and meds, so that she join her other less amazing family members in industrial society, I dropped out of my engineering stuff, just sitting back, telling my delusions about redhat linux to a room full of engineers, and all the rest of the time I maintain my floridly psychotic condition, and I don't see what the problem is. I do NOT have a drivers license, and I am not allowed to own a firearm after some stay in a psych hospital had me sign something, so let me walk around with my books in the tea shops of san francisco, dreaming wildly. no harm done.



And science, let me just finsih by saying, is schizophrenic by definition. Science insists on a certain coldness and hardness for the "facts" it is willing to consider, and you have to be a scientifically considerable fact to be in the "test tube of human knowledge", you can't be the voices in someone's sz, or beauty, or anything like that, so anyway, that coldness and hardness of the cold hard facts is a demand that the experiment be replicatable by other people, other consciousnesses, in separate times and places. And that if we cannot "see" something with our eyes, or feel it with one of the five senses and have it show up on an already-invented type of meter, well, then it just isn;t cold and hard enough for the test tube of things being considered in human knowledge. But, on the other hand, we know cats and birds have different eyes than we do, and can see things we cannot. I was told if I insist on one explanation for my ghost bugs, that I am crazy, or schizophrenic, but if I have multiple "theories", then I'm just a kid with odd ideas, capacious mind willing to entertain just about anything, yet, there science goes insisting that only what has been verified so far is real, all else is non-sense, that's why I say they are by definition insane, they are not willing to entertain the possiblilities that are obviously available to interpretation. Voltaire said that to be unsure is an uncomfortable position, but to be sure is an absurd position. I'm a big fan of absurdity, but modern science is going a bit far even for an absurdist!!!


And the poverty of science today !!!

They've got no scientific explanation for the phenomenon of life. The study of the human body is all based on the study of dead bodies under a microscope, they have no understanding of the body in motion. There is no theory of brain mind, or how the brain gives rise to the mind, or they won;t write one down anyway but I see it implicitly in their alzheimers experiments, experiments that often go horribly wrong and unaccording to plan, so much for the unspeakable theories of brain mind floating around, I know I've published my brain mind theory on these websites; worse than no explanation, they have something to say about the motion of bodies, they've had this to say since 1666 courtesy of newton the mystic: they say there's this invisible force in the ground, holding us down. But now that we can see out in to redshift space, the astrophysics and cosmic cartography of the past 25 years' golden ages are showing us that it's really ytivarg, not gravity, a push, not a pull, no force in the ground, but an overall pressure from every direction pushing down, and it spins, slowly, the hyper clock, and the astrologists ave been tracking it for hundreds of years. Astrologists, now there are curious humans not willing to go down the hole of human knowledge, even if everybody laughs when they advise mrs ronald reagan on when and where and what. Us schizophrenics and shamans, by the way, ought not to mess with astrology, or the i ching, we get to wanting to consult it for when we should take our next breath, it gets crazy, so I don't, but I do speculate on the hyperclock, as the phases of the moon slide, as the earthquakes and tsunamis fly, tiger circumambulating the medicine altar, searching for transformations.

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