THINQon : Where do you go to be alone? What do you do?

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Ximena Ramos

Where do you go to be alone? What do you do?

Latest Post: June 20, 2010 at 2:17 AM

16 followers

It's interesting the things that happen while being on vacation after 6 hard months of college and work on the side. My muses have run out on me, I ran out on my contacts on Facebook (yes, I am a tool) and have just needed to be alone. I don't want to deal with my friends, my "friends" and their usual questions of "what's up?" or how their new job is going.

It's enough that the editing on my poetry has been unproductive, I have once again entered the dangerous phase of thinking too much. About life, my work, who I am, what I project to other people and how I view the world. Realizing that I amend or completely alter my behavior to be accepted in public, only to later regret my actions because it's not really who I am. I like my solitude and my privacy, but I also like to listen without feeling pressured to partake. People sometimes have that effect, and I imagine one feels the need to escape.

Personally, I've opted for isolation. Just me, my computer, iTunes, Photoshop and a message board where no one knows me personally and I can analyze my favorite anime character to my heart's content. I think it's putting distance from myself and people that I know which is what I need and am currently doing. Or maybe I'm just crazy. (Aside from repeating myself.)

But anyways, when your own thoughts become overwhelming, where do you go? What do you do when it feels that no one thinks the way you do? When you want to discuss life, art or nature, but those around you think it's too much or trivial? Is it being egocentric and prideful, or is it just a case of one person (in this case, me) thinking too much and needing to get a grip?

Reply to:

Chris Utterman

May 27, 2010 at 10:15 PM

28 followers

Hi Ximena,
One place to go to is the cinema. You keep your isolation, but then you also get to hang out with the cool kids in the movie. Of course if you don't live in Paris, London, or NY it's hard to find good movies to see, and DVD's are not the same.

It's surprising what minuscule amount of time do people consecrate for thinking throughout their lives. Thinking "about life, my work, who I am, what I project to other people and how I view the world..." etc. They surround themselves with means of avoiding thought (see Inhibiting reflection).

"When you want to discuss life, art or nature, but those around you think it's too much or trivial?" - It always amazes me how people consider thoughts as trivial or inconsequential. It partly comes from the extreme difficulty of explaining one's thoughts, and what comes out is such a small part of the thought that obviously, for everybody else, it seems trivial; how to bring them with you is an important and hard craft to develop. Partly because you often need to take them down the long path of how you got there; Wittgenstein famously said that his book was only for people who already had his thoughts. But often it's because they don't get the point of why think? It's easier to just act and live according to whatever way people tell you to behave.

Another place to go, as you discovered, is obviously here. Thoughts at the end need a discussion. They need feedback - that's why they are called reflections. They need an outside. (See further thoughts in a discussion about seclusion).
On the question of anonymity, see discussion on meta-THINQon.

Looking forward to reading more of your thoughts.

Reply to: or

Ximena Ramos

In response to Chris Utterman

June 12, 2010 at 2:59 AM

16 followers

Chris,
Thank you very much for your reply. I didn't think anyone would respond. I apologize for the delay in responding but you know how life is.

I've never really thought of the cinema as a place to escape. Aside from the fact that I am short on money, I tend to avoid crowds. DVD's indeed aren't the same, but I resort to finding gems on Youtube, such as old clips from Fred Astaire videos or old video recordings of vintage jazz bands.

"It partly comes from the extreme difficulty of explaining one's thoughts, and what comes out is such a small part of the thought that obviously, for everybody else, it seems trivial; "

How true this is. Every world is its own universe and as far as mine is concerned, I tend to think either in music, verse or emotions that I can't explain. I try to explain them to someone else but they think "Cool." or "That's OK." When I speak with someone about a deep subject, I am also trying to stimulate their thoughts so that I can also learn something from them. It doesn't matter if we differ, it only matters to me that I learn something.

I found the post about seclusion interesting. I think there's a difference between being "alone" and being alone. To clarify, if I am "alone" then I am around people, but I am inside the confines of my thoughts and emotions and I don't share them with anyone else. It's a special kind of privacy to me. Then simply being alone, is not being around anyone at all. I prefer the former. People fascinate me and I like to study them to learn more, but that doesn't mean I have to share anything with them.

Reply to: or

Claire (alias)

May 30, 2010 at 8:16 PM

6 followers

Dear Ximena,
Is it possible that your personality has been evolving lately and you want to escape from the people you know because they remind you who you were and who you don't want to be anymore? In other words, is someone what the others see or is someone what he would like to be?
I like this quote from Linda in this related post :
"It sounds like you're ready to grow a whole new you, or rather to pull yourself up by the roots and put yourself down in a better place.
How wonderful".
before putting yourself down in a better place, did you give your friends a chance? Did you try to show yourself really as you are in front of them? Maybe they would surprise you , and maybe you would feel Really good then... But maybe you've done that already and it did not help.. and then it may be that you haven't found the right friends.
When I was a teenager, I felt very different from the rest of the people I knew, I very often needed to isolate myself, I was then going to the forest to find a nice tree to climb in and to listen to the silence. I don't think it ever helped me to find answers to my questions but at least it brought me peace. I then realized that the more I was going there, the more I was feeling different and one day I stopped.
Today I have very rare occasions to be alone, when I still need to escape, I escape in my music and I shout my feelings by playing.

It can take very long to find the right friends, but once you found them, it feels really good to be free to be who you are without fear.

Claire