Well I think that I am actually somewhat as old as you are and can’t look back at decades of relationship experience. Still, I will just tell you about something that happened to one of my best male friends. I have known him since the sixth grade and already then he was mystically gifted when it came to dealing with women. Throughout high school and college the guy had numerous relationships which all lasted 2-4 months. Finally he decided to commit himself to one woman. He loved her that was pretty obvious but at the same time he was used to changing his partners really often. After a year he moved in with her hoping that it would finally put an end to his restlessness. Unfortunately it did not and he started feeling trapped. His girl friend was awesome and she never restricted nor did she ever put him on a short leash. Nevertheless he had the feeling that he was missing out on something and thus started flirting and texting with other women just to see whether he was still in demand. He was like a car teetering at the edge of cliff not sure whether he would fall down or drag himself up to continue driving forward. His girlfriend new about all that and it must have been hell for her. Still, she did not protest nor did she try to pressure him to cease what he was doing. After a while he cooled down and the relationship is still intact now :)

This is perhaps no real suggestion nor a solution to your problem but I always take heart from incidents such as these. My perspective is also primarily male and I am also not the overly emotional type. Thus my ability to comprehend how you must be feeling right now is somewhat limited.

At the same time it is not uncommon that people while being in the safe harbor of a relationship would start searching for a new mate. Such a behavior is very convenient to the party planning the break up. If he or she does not succeed in finding a “replacement” for the current partner he/she will just stick to what one already has.

Hi Rachel,

Here's a thread that might be useful post .
You're not alone.

Don't sweat the checking of the phone.  You've got more important things to do.
Tell us a little more about yourself so we know the woman we're talking to.

~Linda

Hi Rachel,
 
Just a dumb male perspective.  What will be will be.  If you are to stay together you will, and if not you won't.  So, steel yourself for some discomfort until you two decide which it will be.  What you need to do also is ask yourself what you want from the relationship and if that goal is worth the discomfort and pain.  If not that could put you in the driving seat - become the leaver rather than the leavee, so to speak
 
In any event there are many good folk out there who would love to be with someone like you, from amongst whom you will eventually find a worthy and caring partner.  So don't lose faith.  What seems to be the end of all is usually the beginning of something better.  Be strong.